The Minesweeper
by BrokenTypewriter
Summary: A look at a minesweeper who never succeeds in his hobby. Oneshot only.


**My first fanfic... but not my best effort. I just want to have some fun with writing first, before I want to actually start something long. Bleh... Minesweeper ain't much... but I hope it will do. Enjoy!**

The Minesweeper

By Broken Typewriter

"Today looks nice for minesweeping today! I'm sure I'll get it right this time! Here we go!" The minesweeper got outside his house and ran straight in one direction. He was heading to an open field. He thought to himself about his past mistakes and he believe he can do this.

"Yeah! I'm going to clear the land and flag the mines! You can count on t!" He saw the big gray field ahead. With much excitement, he began running to the middle.

"I'm going to mine sweep! I'm going to mine sweep! I'm going to-" An explosion occurred. The minesweeper stepped on a mine, and died.

_Lives Lost: 1_

Seconds later, he spawned in the middle of the field. "… what the heck just happened?!" He looked around him, then remembered he died from a mine.

"Oh, stupid! So stupid!" He kicked the dirt. Then, the minesweeper pulled out his device and began his task. "Alright, let's get going."

He started walking in the same direction, holding his device up. A few minutes passed, and he still didn't pick up any sense of mines nearby. He was getting bored.

"Man… where are the mines?" By the time he made another step, he exploded.

_Lives Lost: 2_

He spawned in the center again. "Grr! What's wrong with this machine?" He inspected it and found the problem. The device was set to "off". _Idiot_, he thought. He switched it to "on" and started again.

When the device picked up a scent, a picture of the number one appeared on the ground. "Hmm… I forgot what these numbers are for…" He thought and remembered something.

"Oh yeah! They count as score! One point for me!" He cheered, walked again, and exploded. He was very unfortunate.

_Lives Lost: 3_

The minesweeper spawned in the same starting point again. He was getting frustrated, then something came to him. "Ah, I remember! These numbers show how many mines are nearby. How can I forget?" He is a really stupid minesweeper.

He was mine sweeping, and he spotted a three, a few twos, and many ones. "Hah! I think I'm starting to get the hang of it!" He already finished half the field.

"Yay! Only half way done! Wait until I tell my friends!" Suddenly, his foot dig into the crack between two gray panels. The minesweeper tripped, and exploded… again.

_Lives Lost: 4_

"Dog Flargit! Why am I dying so easily?!" He was angry since he was about to finish. Now the field restarted. He growled and picked up his device. _Calm yourself, you need to focus_, he thought. He took time to remember what these numbers are for, and played again.

He found a number, and it showed the number eight.

"…" It was a moment of silence. "An eight?" he asked himself. The minesweeper looked around him and counted the panels surrounding the number. There are eight panels. "What the heck is this?!"

He got angry, and forced himself to die. The minesweeper exploded again.

_Lives Lost: 5_

As he spawned, he began jumping repetitively to express his anger. He wasn't controlling his jumps, as he jumped a little to the left and exploded.

_Lives Lost: 6_

The boy was getting nowhere. He took a deep breathe, and began carefully with concentration. He was doing better than the last times.

"Okay… keep this up… and you won't die…" But it was too much concentration, and his foot got stuck between two panels and he tripped, dropping his device. "Noooooo!"

No explosions occurred. He was lucky, and it created relief. "Phew, and I thought I would've died." He got up and walked. But he tripped on his device that was on the floor, and he exploded.

_Lives Lost: 7_

With much frustration, he decided to leave the field until…BOOM!

_Lives Lost: 8_

He sighed, and attempt to leave the field again. This time, the minesweeper managed to avoid the mines. He went back to his house.

Hours later, he came back near the field and took out another device. "Ho ho, I'm glad I bought this from eBay. Now to work this cloning machine!" He turned it on, and set the value to three.

The cloning machine began to shake, and it shot a beam of electricity at the boy. He split into three people. He knew this process would save more time and work.

As the three were searching and flagging mines, one of them was having trouble removing a flag from the ground.

"Hey, guys! I found out this panel doesn't have any mines, but I can't pull out this flag!" The other two were a little far, but they heard him. "Ah, I'll come right away!" responded one of them. He ran straight to the man, who was having the flag problem. Then he simply exploded.

The two stared at where the clone exploded. "I can't believe my clones are idiots, too," whispered the real minesweeper, the one with the flag problem.

"Don't worry, I'll come over there! And I'll be more careful!" yelled the clone. He walked carefully.

"Try not to concentrate too hard, or you'll trip!" warned the real minesweeper. The clone heard him, but he got distracted. He tripped and was devastated by another explosion.

The minesweeper watched his last clone died, and began to yell random words. Suddenly, he accidentally pulled out the flag and fell down. "Gah!" he screamed, before he exploded by another mine again.

_Lives Lost: 11_

The boy appeared in the center of the field.

"I hate this! I hate, hate, hate this habit of mine!" Regaining his calmness, he began to look for his cloning machine. Unfortunately, it was outside the field. He hit himself in the head, and tried to think of a way to get the cloning machine back.

_Lives Lost: 15_

Dying a few times, he managed to escape the field. He set it to ten and activated his clone machine . Now there are ten minesweepers.

"Alright, guys. We need to finish this minesweeping business… now!" he commanded to nine of clones. Eight of them saluted, but one of them spoke up.

"Hey! Who said you were leader?" he shouted. "I say I should be leader! I have better leadership than you!"

The real minesweeper began to irritate. "What do you mean 'better leadership'? We're the same! And I'm leader, because I created you all!"

"Who cares who created who!" he argued back, "You died too many times, so it's my try!"

"Don't be so stupid, you idiot!"

"Blah blah blah!"

"Quit it!"

Eight clones were blankly staring at this argument when, suddenly, the clone who spoke up pushed the real minesweeper to the field. He exploded.

_Lives Lost: 16_

_Ugh, I can't believe I thought of this cloning idea! _he thought to himself. He looked up to where his clones are.

"Get those mines! Charge!" The boy was shocked about the clones rushing to the field. He simply forgot to give them their mining devices. "Crap…"

Mine after mine, each clone died in each explosion. It was a deadly sight to the boy. He began to bawl. "Why?! Why?!"

_Lives Lost: 23_

He looked up again after bawling, and saw one clone still alive. It was the same one that argued against him. The clone looked angry and kicked the cloning machine. It shocked him.

"No!" he yelled, "Don't damage it!" Too late. Countless clones of himself started appearing, inside and outside the field. For the clones who did appeared inside the mined field, they were dying. There was a lot of explosions around the field.

_Lives Lost (after cloning machine broke): 4,718,359_

The field was like a desert. The boy was laying on the floor, tired and hopeless. He never thought he will finish flagging the mines in this field. After what those clones did, there was nothing left in this field.

Then it hit him. "Since all those clones died by the mines… then that means…" He took one step. Nothing happened. He took another few steps. Still nothing. The boy ran around the field. He then noticed that all the mines are gone.

"Woooo! I did it!" he cheered. It was a great victory for him… actually, not. As he ran, he stepped on the last mine of the field… and exploded.

_Lives Lost: 4,718,360_

"Aw man…"


End file.
